You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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