Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
