That's intense
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
