Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
