Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
