Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
