More tranny stories later!
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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