Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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