Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
