She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
