no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he fucked my hip out of place.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
