I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
