it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
