I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I forget how to act sober
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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