I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
