when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
don't judge my taste in strippers
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
