Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
