idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
