Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
