he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
