So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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