I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
