i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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