the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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