my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
