y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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