and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
