my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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