Have you finally orgasmed yet?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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