She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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