5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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