just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
