You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
