please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize