But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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