We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
