some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
