Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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