the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
