He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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