Having a random hookup so left but love u
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
