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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
