Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Couch. On fire.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize