it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
