I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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