I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So vagazzling was a success
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
