Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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