I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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