Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
