how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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