I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
