Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She announced her abortion via fbk
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
