I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
