The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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