They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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