Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
