i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize