Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
