i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
