Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
