Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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