Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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