any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
