Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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