My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
