Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
