Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
