I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
