Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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