He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize