i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dignity is for republicans.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
