thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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