Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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