Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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