Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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