there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
